On this day when Samuel assembled the tribes of Israel, Saul knew exactly what was going to happen.  God had already revealed to Samuel that Saul would be the king of Israel and Samuel had even anointed Saul as king.  So here is this man who stands head and shoulders above everyone else; he knows for certain that God has chosen him to be the king, and yet he is hiding.

          On the outside, Saul looked impressive and capable, but Saul obviously had some figurative baggage, too.  When Samuel first told Saul of God’s plan to make him king, Saul responded, “But I’m only from Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe!  Why are you talking like this to me?” (1 Samuel 9:21)  Who am I that God would choose me?  Surely you’ve got the wrong person.  The burden of doubt was holding Saul back from his calling.

          To be called by God is an awesome and terrifying thing.  When I first felt God calling me to write, I was elated, excited, flattered, humbled and terrified all at the same time.  To know the purpose God had for my life, to see how He was going to use me to draw others to Him was so exciting.  Yet, I felt so inadequate.  Yes, God can do anything… but can I?  What if I fail?  What if I mess up?  What if I let God down?  Who am I that God would choose me?

          God has a plan for each and every one of us.  He has created us and gifted us specifically to fulfill His purpose.  What is holding you back?  Are you afraid of failing?  Are you afraid that people will discover your hidden shame?  Have you been wounded and find it just too painful to move forward?

          Dear one, God never intended for you to be burdened.  Lay down your baggage and follow His call.  He didn’t let Saul hide, neither will He let you.  Come to Jesus, and He will carry your burdens.  You are the one God has chosen.  No one in all the earth is your equal.

 The Essence of Evangelism

  "Mary was standing outside the tomb crying, and as she wept, she stooped and looked in. She saw two white-robed angels sitting at the head and foot of the place where the body of Jesus had been lying.
   "Why are you crying?" the angels asked her
   "Because they have taken away my Lord," she replied, "and I don't know where they have put him." She glanced over her shoulder and saw someone standing behind her. It was Jesus, but she didn't recognize him.  
   "Why are you crying?" Jesus asked her. "Who are you looking for?"
   She thought he was the gardener. "Sir," she said, "if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him."
   "Mary!" Jesus said.
   She turned toward him and exclaimed, "Teacher!"
   "Don't cling to me," Jesus said, "for I haven't yet ascended to the Father. But go find my brothers and tell them that I am ascending to my Father and your Father, my God and your God."
   Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, "I have seen the Lord!" Then she gave them his message.
 
   I've been thinking about this passage lately.  Often, like Mary, I don't recognize Jesus when He's working in my life.  Moments that seem mundane are really divine appointments to make a difference.  Carpooling to preschool doesn't just give me a reprieve from driving every day, it gives me an opportunity to build relationships with my neighbors and help meet their needs, too.
   In retrospect, I see how God intervened at crucial moments in my life.  If I had gone to USC instead of Ohio Wesleyan, I never would have met my husband.  Likewise, I never would have met the people at my church who discipled me nor would I have had the experiences that have shaped who I am today.  I can't even imagine my life without my beautiful children!  I had no idea at eighteen years old how asking for God's direction for college would so dramatically impact the rest of my life.
   While I don't always see His hand at work, God is always there.  In my darkest moments He is with me.  I can't imagine a darker moment in Mary's life.  She thought that Jesus had been taken from her.  How hopeless she must have felt!  But Jesus was there.  He's there for us, too.
   I think it's significant that Jesus first appeared to Mary.  Why didn't he make his first appearance to a huge crowd?  Surely something as important as the Resurrection should be, well, a bigger deal.  Jesus came to save the whole world, why not announce it immediately to the whole world?
   I think that it might just be because God doesn't see "the world" as one anonymous blob.  He sees each and every single person in it.  "Mary!" he said.  Christy... Jennifer... Michelle... Debbie...  He came for Mary.  He came for me.  He came for you.
   An encounter with Jesus is life changing.  Mary calls Him Teacher.  Before Jesus, women would not have been students, yet Jesus doesn't correct her.  In addition, if you look in the Old Testament, you will often find that people talked about God as the God of our fathers, but Jesus tells Mary that He is going "to my Father and your Father, my God and your God."  Through Jesus, we now have been reconciled to our heavenly Father.
   Jesus tells Mary to go find the disciples and tell them that she has seen Him.  We know that they followed her back to the tomb to see for themselves.  I think that this is the essence of evangelism.  Mary encountered Jesus, told others about her experience and led them to where they could find Jesus, too.  It's as simple as that.
   That is my hope for this website. Like Mary, I don't have all the answers.  But I've seen Jesus.  I know Him and He's called me by name.  I hope that you will find Him, whether it be for the first time or in a new and more profound way.